Getting a Grip on Reflexive Verbs

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Ever tried to say something simple in Portuguese like “I got up” or “I forgot” and suddenly you’re juggling a whole new structure? That little me or se that pops up and feels totally out of place?

Honestly, these reflexive verbs were one of the trickiest parts of Portuguese for me (and I’m guessing for a lot of us English speakers, too). It’s because in English, we only use “myself” or “yourself” in very specific cases. So when Portuguese requires one for something like getting out of bed, it feels random.

Here’s what finally made things click for me:

Reflexive verbs aren’t about memorizing complicated grammar rules. They are just another piece of the “Identity Glue” that holds sentences together. (To see how they fit into the bigger picture alongside other pronouns, check out my master guide on Portuguese Sentence Structure).

They’re about recognizing typical situations and set patterns. Once you start spotting those, it all feels way more natural. I’ll break it down the way my Portuguese friends explained it to me.

Why This Feels So Weird in English

In English, we only add “myself” or “yourself” for emphasis or when the person doing the action is also the one receiving it. Portuguese starts there, but takes it much further.

Here’s where it looks familiar:

English	Portuguese
I cut myself	Cortei-me
I hurt myself	Magoei-me
She introduced herself	Ela apresentou-se
He prepared himself	Ele preparou-se
We blame ourselves	Culpamo-nos

But then, Portuguese uses them in all sorts of places where we wouldn’t dream of adding “myself.”

English	Portuguese
I got up at 7	Levantei-me às 7
I feel good	Sinto-me bem
We’ll see each other tomorrow	Vemo-nos amanhã

If you’ve ever thought, “Should I just add myself to the verb?”, you’re kind of on the right track. It’s a decent starting point for understanding the concept, but the real trick is learning the situations where Portuguese speakers naturally use them.

In English, we use “myself” for actions on ourselves. In Portuguese, it’s also used for everyday actions like getting up.

Your Daily Routines Are Generally Always Reflexive

This is the first and biggest pattern to look for. Daily routines are where reflexive verbs show up constantly. I think of them as a “mirror list” of actions you do to yourself.

English	Portuguese
I get up at 7	Levanto-me às 7
I go to bed late	Deito-me tarde
I get dressed	Visto-me
I comb my hair	Penteio-me

Mini-Dialogue: Morning Routine

Here’s how you might hear this in a real chat:

A: A que horas te levantas? B: Normalmente levanto-me às 7, mas hoje não me apetece. A: Pois, eu também me deito sempre tarde.

Which translates to:

A: What time do you get up? B: Normally I get up at 7, but today I don’t feel like it. A: Yeah, I also always go to bed late.

How to Tell If a Verb Is Reflexive (and if It Even Matters)

Here’s the big question: How do I know if I should add that little pronoun?

Short answer: you don’t, at least not by memorizing a bunch of rules.

Portuguese people aren’t thinking, “Is this a reflexive action?” They just say what sounds right. And honestly, you don’t need to get bogged down in the grammar labels either. What matters is learning to use these verbs the way locals do.

That said, you’ll start to see them pop up in a few very common situations:

• Daily routine actions (things you do to your own body: getting up, getting dressed, lying down).
• Verbs for feelings & states (sinto-me bem, sinto-me cansado).
• Verbs whose meaning changes with “se” (lembrar = remind, lembrar-se = remember).
• Reciprocal actions (vemos-nos amanhã = we see each other).
• Fixed expressions you just learn as a chunk (vou-me embora, como te chamas).

Once you get used to spotting these patterns, it stops feeling so random.

1. Daily Actions to Yourself

English	Portuguese
I sit down	Sento-me
He lies down	Ele deita-se
We got dressed quickly	Vestimo-nos depressa

2. Emotional or Physical States

English	Portuguese
I feel good	Sinto-me bem
I feel bad	Sinto-me mal
She feels nervous	Ela sente-se nervosa

[!tip] A Quick Note on “Sentir” While the verb sentir can technically be used non-reflexively to mean ‘to smell’ (like sinto o cheiro – “I smell the scent”), when you’re describing your own emotional or physical state, you’ll always use the reflexive form sentir-se.

Mini-Dialogue: Feelings

A: Como te sentes hoje? B: Sinto-me muito cansado. A: Eu também me sinto assim às segundas-feiras.

A: How do you feel today? B: I feel really tired. A: I feel the same way on Mondays.

3. Special “Reflexive Meaning” Verbs

English	Portuguese
I remember you	Lembro-me de ti
I forgot	Esqueci-me
He left (went away)	Ele foi-se embora

Mini-Dialogue: Forgetting Something

A: Trouxeste as chaves? B: Esqueci-me! A: Outra vez? Tens de pôr lembretes no telemóvel.

A: Did you bring the keys? B: I forgot! A: Again? You need to set reminders on your phone.

[!tip] My Advice Don’t stress about grammar terms. No one’s going to quiz you: “is this reflexive or is it a regular pronoun!?” Just focus on learning which expressions go with which situations. That’s how locals do it, and it works way better in real life.

Where to Put the Little Word

So you know a verb is reflexive, but now: where does the pronoun go?

Here’s the basic rule for European Portuguese:

Normally, the pronoun attaches to the end of the verb with a hyphen. But if there’s a “puller word” before the verb (like não, nunca, or a question word), the pronoun gets pulled to the front.

English	Portuguese
I get up at 7	Levanto-me às 7
I don’t get up late	Não me levanto tarde
What time do you get up?	A que horas te levantas?

These puller words are everywhere in everyday speech. They’re basically little magnets that drag the pronoun in front of the verb.

Some of the most common pullers are:

• Negatives: não, nunca, ninguém
• Question words: quando, onde, porque, como, a que horas
• Connecting words: que (that), porque (because), se (if)

Examples:

• Não me apetece sair hoje. → “I don’t feel like going out today.”
• Quando te vais deitar? → “When are you going to bed?”
• Ele disse que se sentia doente. → “He said that he felt sick.”

Mini-Dialogue: Pronoun Placement

A: Deitas-te cedo? B: Não, nunca me deito antes da meia-noite.

A: Do you go to bed early? B: No, I never go to bed before midnight.

Not Every Hyphen Means “Myself”

This is a key point: a hyphen + pronoun doesn’t always mean reflexive.

In European Portuguese, the hyphen is just how you attach any short pronoun to a verb. Sometimes it’s reflexive (sinto-me = I feel [myself]), but it could also be a direct object (ajuda-me = help me) or show a reciprocal action (vemos-nos = we see each other).

English	Portuguese	What’s happening
Sit down	Senta-te	Reflexive (you sit yourself down)
Help me	Ajuda-me	Object pronoun (you help me)
We’ll see each other tomorrow	Vemo-nos amanhã	Reciprocal (we see each other)
I’ll tell you	Digo-te	Object pronoun (I tell you)

Mini-Dialogue: Sit Down / Help Me

A: Senta-te aqui ao pé de mim. B: Espera, ajuda-me primeiro com esta mala.

A: Sit down here next to me. B: Wait, help me with this suitcase first.

So don’t let the hyphen fool you. It just means “pronoun glued to the verb,” but the reason can change.

[!tip] Another Confusing Thing

If you want to understand another reason—where the action is done to someone else, check out my guide to making sense of object pronouns.

What About the Verbs That Change Meaning?

This is where reflexives stop being about “myself” and start creating entirely new verb meanings.

Feeling bad about forgetting a name? Just say “Esqueci-me!” And don’t worry, it happens to everyone.

English	Portuguese
I’ll remind you (of the meeting)	Lembro-te (da reunião)
I remember you	Lembro-me de ti
Remind me of your name, please?	Lembra-me o teu nome, por favor?
I’m going to bed early today, I’m really tired.	Vou-me deitar cedo hoje, estou mesmo cansado.
I’m leaving at 10	Vou-me embora às 10 (you’ll also hear: Vou embora às 10)
Go away!	Vai-te embora!

See how ir (to go) becomes ir-se embora (to leave/go away)?

It’s one of those things you just pick up from hearing it, but once you do, it feels natural. And in casual Portuguese, it’s very common for people to drop the pronoun and just say Vou embora. Both are correct.

Mini-Dialogue: Leaving

A: Já vais embora? B: Sim, vou-me embora às dez. A: Está bem, vemos-nos amanhã.

A: Are you leaving already? B: Yes, I’m heading out at ten. A: Okay, see you tomorrow.

Two-Verb Sentences & Other Scenarios

When you have two verbs together, like “I want to get up,” you usually have a choice for where to put the pronoun.

English	Portuguese
I’m going to get up	Vou-me levantar
I’m going to get up	Vou levantar-me

Both are correct in Portugal. My advice is to just say whichever one feels smoother off the tongue. The only real rule is that the pronoun never, ever sits in the middle between the two verbs.

Common Everyday Phrases

Here are a few expressions you’ll hear constantly. Don’t overthink the grammar, just memorize them as complete chunks.

English	Portuguese
See you tomorrow	Vemo-nos amanhã
I forgot	Esqueci-me
Sit down	Senta-te
What’s your name?	Como te chamas?

Frequently Asked Questions

[!faq]- Why do some verbs sometimes have a reflexive pronoun and sometimes don’t? Because the meaning changes depending on who the action is for. Take the verb lavar (to wash). If you say Eu lavo o carro (I wash the car), the action is on the car, so it’s not reflexive. But if you say Eu lavo-me de manhã (I wash myself in the morning), the action is on you, so you need the reflexive pronoun me.

[!faq]- Is it ever wrong to put the pronoun in front of the verb? Yes. In standard European Portuguese, you don’t start a sentence with the pronoun. So you wouldn’t say Eu me levanto, that’s a Brazilian Portuguese construction. Unless there’s a “puller word” like não or quando, the pronoun sticks to the end of the verb: Levanto-me. (That said, you might hear some people bend this rule in very casual speech, but it’s not the standard way.)

[!faq]- What about other pronouns like nos and vos? Nos (for “we”) is very common: Vestimo-nos (we get dressed), Sentamo-nos (we sit down). But vos (for “you plural”) is almost never used in modern Portugal. People just use the third-person form with vocês: Vocês sentam-se.

[!faq]- Is ir-se embora always negative? Nope. While Vai-te embora! can sound harsh (like ‘get out of here!’), Vou-me embora às 10 is a completely neutral way to say “I’m heading out at 10.” It’s all about context.

[!faq]- Do these rules apply to all tenses? Yes, the placement rules are the same for past, present, and future. You’ll just notice reflexive verbs most often in the present and past tenses when talking about routines and telling stories.

[!faq]- What are other common reflexive verbs I should know? Besides the ones in this article, you’ll hear chamar-se (to be called/named), esquecer-se (to forget), sentar-se (to sit down), and deitar-se (to lie down/go to bed) all the time in daily life.